Sunday, March 2, 2014

I’m an Introvert but I’m not shy!

I read this after my last post and it got me thinking. There really can be a difference.

I remember a young teen I knew in high school. This girl was so painfully shy that it was sad really. When the teacher called on her, she’d blush and stammer and you just knew she wished the floor would swallow her whole. And more than once, I saw gathering tears and trembling lips. She never looked you in the eye but kept her gaze pointedly turned away.  I felt so sorry for her.

I’ve often wondered what happened to that poor girl.

As the years passed, I matured and started to understand that many people were introverted by choice. It didn’t mean they were shy like my earlier friend. Put them in a group situation and they didn’t curdle or slink away with their faces hidden. But they really didn’t enjoy activities where there were scads of people and where they needed to perform as an interested listener or an interesting sharer.

Instead they preferred to spend time either alone or with one or two chosen friends who didn’t tax their abilities to reveal themselves, their ideas and goals. They felt much more comfortable inside their own heads, thinking and imagining worlds of their own.

Strangely enough, I married an introvert. And I soon learned that he didn’t need to be with others to be happy. (Other than me of course!!) In his career, he worked with many people and was always well-liked and usually the centre of a group. But when it came time to relax and enjoy his days off, he didn’t require anyone else to share those hours with. Self-sufficient, he taught me that people don’t always need to be with others to feel complete.

So I guess when it comes to the introverted author, other than the demands of promotion, the lifestyle would suit them extremely well. Hidden away in their offices, spinning stories from their imagined inner worlds and building plots and conflicts would be the perfect answer as a way to make a living in a comfortable manner.

As we all know, people (like myself - extrovert and my guy - introvert) who are attracted to each other are usually opposites. As a writer of romance, I have to be able to understand both personality types in order to write realistic characters. While working on my new series Undercover FBI, I intend to look into personalities in a lot more detail.

How do you create your character’s makeup?  Do you have rituals like making Myers-Briggs tests or reading the stars?


  1. I've taken the Myers Brigs test several times and always come out the same INFJ
    introvert, intuitive, Feeling and Judging
    The first time I was so devastated by this as it cast me in a terrible roll, the doctor knew nothing about the testing or scoring. But the second time we had a 3 day class on this thru my job. I am a roll playing introvert I can get up in front of people no problem, but they suck the life out of me, where as a extrovert draws energy from the crowd. have a second sense about things, for the N intuitive, F is feeling and I'm a soft touch but the Judging that was hard. Because I try to not judge people. But really it is not what it means. My 4 letters mean I am 1 of a million, not many of us out there, people don't know what to do with us as we see things differently and are not out for something. If I plan a trip say to California and at last minute Ca falls into the ocean I will go someplace else but will complain all the way as here is where the judging comes in. It was a plan and it failed. All my life people said I could not get along with others, guess what no it is not me, after the Myers Brigs testing it was wonderful to learn about myself and about ,y co-workers. It made all the difference in how we got along after that.

  2. Shirleen, I totally understand where you're coming from. You see I have a son whose score is the same as yours. It's not easy being you but gol-darnit you're nice people :-))))