Friday, July 12, 2013

Love scenes... or sex?

Do you write love scenes or sex?

One of the most thought-provoking sentences I’ve heard about this subject is when a friend told me that Nicholas Sparks was known to have said – “I don’t write romance, I write Love Stories.”


Now in my pea brain, I thought romance tales were about falling in love. That if a book was about two people experiencing this phenomenon; it would establish that work as a romance. But then I remembered that there is one thing absolutely imperative in a romance novel. The couple must find their happy ending. Most important, and this is the kicker, they must also be together at the end.


Therefore, I guess there is a slight technical difference in the two phrases – Love Stories and Romance Books. Just as there is a difference when authors write scenes about making love and scenes about having sex. Sure, some of the vocabulary might be the same. The actions involved are certainly equivalent…. ahem!  


But we all know that the difference is about the feelings involved. Sex is more about the physical actions  to some extent whereas making love is all about the emotions.


When I write my romances, I like to take my time guiding my characters to that point where they will “get it on!” There should be a slow process of the two individuals learning about the other, where the buildup includes eyes meeting, initial touch and that wonderful first kiss. By then, the romance should be ready to hook the reader with arousing intensity so they’ll actually experience to some extent what the hero or heroine is going through - the breathlessness of being together.


When I get to the point where the romance becomes sexual, I’ve made sure that the readers will be quite approving that the two people in the tale are in love whether they know it yet themselves or not. That way, the sex is a natural progression. And written properly, can deepen the story to where we get the ummmm! factor.    

Emotional, provocative, and with amazing love scenes.





  1. I love love stories. I never believed sex was a spectator sport. I still believe a writer should let the couple walk into the bedroom and slowly shut the door. Then let the reader's own imagination take over.

  2. I only write a sex scene if it's an important plot point. Whether it's 'making love' or 'sex' will depend on the plot point in question. In the current WIP, it's definitely making love.

  3. Hi Caleb,
    I have to agree with you as a writer because I find the sex scenes excruciating to write...spend more time on them than anything else. But as a reader - not so much. I have to admit to enjoying a good love scene in a book that has titillated me for pages :-)

  4. Ciara, my twitter friend, you make so much sense. Totally agree!!